Should I Text My Ex?
Answer a few brutally honest questions and our Decision Guide will tell you whether to send it or put the phone down.
Published
In most cases, you should not text your ex — especially if the breakup was recent, you're feeling lonely or emotional, or you're secretly hoping to get back together. The urge to reach out usually peaks at night and fades by morning, which tells you everything about whether it's a genuine need or an emotional impulse. There are legitimate reasons to text an ex: returning belongings, co-parenting logistics, or reconnecting after genuine time and growth. But if you're being honest and the real reason is that you miss them, put the phone down. The temporary relief of sending that text almost never outweighs the emotional setback that follows.
Sources
- Breakups Aren't All Bad: Coping Strategies for Positive Outcomes — American Psychological Association (APA)
- Strategies for Coping With the End of a Desirable Intimate Relationship — PMC (National Center for Biotechnology Information)
- Contact with an Ex-partner is Associated with Psychological Distress after Marital Separation — PMC / Clinical Psychological Science
- Social media observation of ex-partners is associated with greater breakup distress, negative affect, and jealousy — Computers in Human Behavior (Elsevier)